Socrates is credited with using thought provoking questioning to help his students identify, “The Truth.”
My own late father, Jim Simpson Sr., frequently asked, “What have we learned?” Dad used the question as a means of helping people make sense of what had just happened in any number of situations.
We can all learn a lot from both Socrates and from my father by asking ourselves some really difficult questions. We then need to be brutally honest with ourselves in analyzing our answers.
One of the most popular phrases in the 60s came from the song (written by Burt Bacharach and Hal David) and popular movie (starring Michael Caine), “What’s it all about Alfie?” My takeaway: “The bigger the question, the more important and difficult the answer.”
Seriously questioning oneself is a sign of maturity. It is also an indicator of people who are able to face reality.
The hardest questions are the probing ones we ask ourselves:
On what sources am I forming my attitudes and beliefs?
How am I spending my time?
What is really important to me?
Is there a God?
If so, do I do what he/she asks?
If there is not a higher being or cause, what is the point of it all?
Are my relationships as I would like them to be?
How do I need to change?
Many of my contemporaries (Old guys) have their own questions:
How much time do I have left?
Where do I want to live now that I can choose?
What are realistic expectations of myself (e.g., capabilities, health)?
What is my legacy?
Examples of people who do not ask themselves hard questions include those who display:
Blind obedience to a religion (Any religion).
Total fealty to another person (Any person).
Unwavering belief in oneself or to one’s team or organization.
Of course, it is much easier to ask questions of others in identifiable groups with whom we have differences. Following are some questions for some typical groups of “others” identified in today’s culture wars.
Here are some questions for Trumplings:
Do I really believe what he says?
What traits does he display that I would want to see in my own kids or grandkids?
For the lefties:
Do I really think that society can exist without police or military protection?
Are people better off when things are given to them or when they earn them?
And here are questions for the Independents among us:
Is it OK for me to just to sit on the sidelines?
When, if ever, do I speak out against extremists?
If the power of the vote is taken away from us, what will I do?
Answers
One of my favorite one-liners is, “For every difficult situation there is a simple answer…and it is wrong.”
Of course, this statement contradicts itself by providing a simplistic answer to a difficult question, but, hey, there is a huge grain of truth in it.
Questioning ourselves is not easy. Often, we may end up with complex and confusing answers we really don’t want to know.
The truth is not always what we believe or want it to be. Truth is also extremely difficult to determine. It is an aspiration, not a destination.
We can never fully understand what is absolutely true. If we think that we know the absolute truth, we are deceiving ourselves.
Nonetheless, both Socrates and Dad were on the right track. We can get closer to the truth, at least in our own lives, by honestly trying to answer the hardest questions we can ask ourselves.
I love your poignant questions. I have questions popping out of my head all the time. I think, for me, questions are the first step in deciding direction and focus for my big and smaller goals. But then comes the hard part: change. In my own experience and through my observations: people do not change easily. Even when we want to, change is really hard. It is that 4 letter word: WORK. And then again I go back to questions like how badly do I want this change or is it really worth it? That’s where I like your father’s question about what have I learned. Questions, change, motivation and application swirl in my head. Thanks, Jimmy, for prompting these life goals!
Thanks for the feedback cuz! I agree, change is really hard and often it just does not happen at all.
Comment from Pat Esty Wilson:
I always read your blog with interest. The ideas of questions, of questioning, is rich for discussion! To be able to ask ourselves questions, and to try to be open to discovering answers, shows a willingness to be open to change, to learn, and to be vulnerable. To question ourselves honestly, we may have to be willing to face pain and disillusionment, but if we can be open and see what is there, we are the better for it.
Pat
Hi Pat,
I particularly am drawn to your reference to “pain and disillusionment” which so often come to us when we really challenge our own thinking/actions. As Kermit says, “It ain’t easy being green.” Take Care my Friend.
Comment from Ben Sorrell:
Well said, as usual, Jim. Thank you for the reminder of the importance for each of us to question all sides of every issue that seems of importance to us…including especially those to which we have always paid homage!
Ben
Hi Ben,
As you state, we all pay homage to someone/something that may not look so important under close and objective scrutiny.
Semper Fi my fried.
Perhaps start out with what are your values?
If you know your values, and practice them, maybe you know yourself?
And if you have values—-that you think you have, but you don’t express them completely, or all the time, maybe the work on yourself needs to start there.
unconditional love vs. conditional love
courage vs. fear
compassion vs. judgement
humility vs. superiority
etc.
Thanks for the feedback Shelly. Yes, I think our values do impact the types of questions we ask ourselves. Also, back in 2016 I did a post on this blog titled “Values” which, like everything important, is also a complicated issue. You can see my thoughts on this (and please add your thoughts or comments) by clicking on the menu or by scrolling down in the blog to the “Values” post. Take Care Always my friend.