Previously I have written about Death in Chapter 32 (inevitable) and Heaven in Chapter 39 (we’ll just have to wait and see) but now I am going to focus on a young person’s cringe moment: listening to old people talking about health.
We have all been in a restaurant or other public place where “old people” talk way too loudly about health issues. Listening to them can be excruciating.
The sad news is that I, and many of my friends, are now the ones on the other side of the conversation. I find it almost impossible to talk with a person my age without one party bringing up some medical “problem” that either they or their significant other is experiencing.
Welcome to the golden age.
For us of a certain age there seems to be at least one life changing event that makes us realize that we are now “old.”
For me the realization that I was now “old” came two summers ago at a wonderful family reunion held near Mount Hood, Oregon. Over 100 family members attended the reunion. My cousin Jeanne’s daughter Katy had a new baby, Adeline, who was the youngest family member in attendance, she was only about two months old. I was the oldest.
Talk about an eye opener.
Most of my contemporaries I know do not think of themselves as being “old.” And yet, there are only a few people left who have birth dates prior to mine.
“Old” is a state of mind, not a verifiable scientific/medical measurement.
I know people who never grew up. And I know young people with “ old souls.”
As we boomers start to fade into the sunset, I see us in two different camps: Those who have decided to ‘“Age Gracefully” and those who “Rage against Age.”
The graceful agers more or less go with the flow. Downsize. Simplify. Accept. I am probably in this group.
The second group seems to want to defy gravity, at least for time. They stay in their homes – “no one is going to take this away from me – I worked too hard for it.” These “Ragers” use cosmetic surgery to keep their eyes from drooping or to trim neck waddle. They reject many of the creature comforts available to old people.
Neither group really wants to end up “in the home-staring at a TV” sadly, the choice is not up to us. As they say, “shit happens.”
And of course there are the tied and true cliches. “Getting old is not for sissies.”; “You are only as old as you feel.”; “Age is just a number.”; “ You’re not getting older, you are getting better.”; “You will never be younger than you are today”; and,“Live each day like it is your last, one day you will be correct.”
All of these cliches have a strong element of truth in them. Nonetheless, the older we get, the less we are able to do. Until, of course, …. (We all know the end game here.)
James, A 100 relatives! You’re sure not a Shoemaker. My grandfather was born during the Civil War. There are few left. I don’t believe I “rage”, but I do feel that many people live according to their age, and miss out on life, e.g. 40 – better start seeing various doctors, 65 retire, and hit the retirement home. My “old” partner ran the shop until 103, dying at 105. Never worried over his age, and enjoyed chatting with all the customers. Two cigars and shot of whisky twice a day.
I see to many retiring to watch TV, eat out regularly, drink to excess, and really shorting their lives. As you said, we can’t control “shit happens”, but we can go on and do as we like, accomplish new projects, make new friends/clients, and not stress about what we can’t control.
Look forward to seeing you and Marianne on my next Gettysburg “run”.
All the best.
Hi, Jim…thanks for your blogs. I’m trying to remain in the “graceful aging” category. There are certainly plenty of reminders that I’m getting old, but I’m working at over-looking them when I can. Being full-time caretaker of Shirley who has Alzheimer’s prevents me from being as active as I would like/need to be though, and the temptation to spend too much time watching TV with her is strong.
But having purchased the property next door to our daughter in Portland, with two grandchildren under 6 years old, and 30 minutes from our other daughter in Washougal, WA with three granddaughters between 5 and 16, I am having ample opportunity to get out and watch and participate in activities that I didn’t do in Texas. We all have season ski passes on Mt Hood, and that pushes my physical limits to the max…especially when I fall. 😉 I still have the Airstream, and am looking forward to April when I believe I will be able to get on the road again…and out of this Portland weather! Shirley’s condition may not allow for the length of trips that we are accustomed to make, but we are going to give it a try and see what happens. I hope to see you on the road one of these days, in Seattle or Gettysburg. Take care, my friend. Ben