News of the death and funerals of friends and relatives inevitably raise questions about one’s own mortality.
Happy Sailing
“We’re all gonna die!” I am not sure of origins of this reality shocker when I first heard it as a child. It must have been a difficult concept.
At some point we all come to the realization that we will not always be here. But when we are younger this idea is easily put aside as we head out into the world.
Even the loss of close loved ones can be pushed aside by finding differences between those who died and ourselves such as: “she/he was/had …(X,Y or Z).and I am different because ….(fill in the blanks).”
I have now reached the age where I can no longer ignore the reality. Within the next 25-30 years, all of my high school and college classmates, Marine and army buddies, cousins, siblings and other contemporaries will all be gone. Also, some of my younger work colleagues and friends and relatives will likely be gone as well.
Is there really a heaven?
Aside from atheists and agnostics, most people seem to believe there is something else awaiting us when we die. The major religions all explain this differently, but most have some description of an afterlife be it heaven, hell, or reincarnation.
Is Heaven right for you?
What if everyone was truly equal in death? What if in heaven there is no one who is very wealthy, poor, healthy, sick, brilliant, dull, gifted or limited in abilities?
If everything was “fair” in heaven, then the very rich, healthy, brilliant and/or gifted people would no longer have an advantage. They would no longer be special. They might even see this situation as a kind of hell.
Getting In
Another great unknown is the criteria for entrance.
I was raised in a Christian Protestant family and even as a child I had trouble with the idea that some people would not get into heaven. I was taught to understand that “bad” people and “non-believers” would be left outside the pearly gates. That part I could understand.
What I had trouble understanding was what happened to babies too young to know about Jesus, or even to be baptized. And what about the millions of people who were never exposed to “The word of God” that was presented to those of us who were lucky enough to be members of a Christian (preferably Protestant) church. Were all of the millions of other people in the world all damned? Even the “good” ones?
Heavenly Bodies
Another unknown was the form that we will take in heaven, assuming we will get in. Do we have bodies like we do here on earth. If so, will it be a young body or an old one? Will people who had to deal with disabilities in life be suddenly able bodied in Heaven?
Or will we become more of a spirit? Will we have memories of our life on earth?
Aunt Bunk
A number of years ago while on a family vacation in North Carolina, I attended the funeral of an in-law, Vivian’s Aunt Nelly Grace (AKA Aunt Bunk). Prior to her death, Aunt Bunk had joined a very traditional, very Southern, Baptist Church.
I had seen movies and tv shows that depicted a booming minister in a packed and very warm, Southern church where congregants shouted out, “Amen Brother!” at the top of their lungs. However, this was no movie, it was the real deal!
I don’t think the preacher was really close to the late Aunt Bunk as he seemed to be looking often at his notes when it was time to insert her name (Nelly Grace) into the sermon.
He was, however, very familiar with preaching at funerals and he painted a very vivid picture of where the dearly departed was now. Aunt Bunk had walked through the pearly gates in the clouds and was now walking down streets literally paved in gold. Liquid gold flowed down a river. It was always sunny and comfortably warm in Heaven.
According to the preacher, Aunt Bunk was now in the presence of our Lord and Savior who had been there to greet her personally. Or, as kids today might say it, “Bunk was now hanging out with none other than her bestie, JC himself.”
The preacher delivered the sermon with a gusto and flair that was legendary. He went from a barely heard whisper to a 10 on the Richter scale in an instant. It was clear to me that no one slept thru his sermons!
Then it turned really dark. Yes, according to this preacher there was another place. It was reserved for those who did not believe as he (and apparently his congregation) believed.
The preacher’s description of Hell was not pleasant to say the least.
I may have imagined it, but it seemed to me that he was looking a little too much and too often at those of us relatives who were sitting together and clearly were not members of his church.
I also seem to remember that the “plate” was passed around right after the preacher’s warning about Hell. It was a good time to “pay” for our sins and of course a healthy donation would increase the odds of “getting in” to Heaven.
Somehow, I think the good Rev had taken some liberties with his descriptions of both Heaven and Hell. But, then again, who knows?
Singing to the Heavens
Singers across the spectrum have talked about death and Heaven including:
Bob Dylan, who sang about, “Knocking on Heaven’s door.”
Country star Kenny Chesney sang, “Everyone wants to go to Heaven, but not now.”
Led Zeppelin questioned the idea of buying one’s way into heaven in their classic, “Stairway to Heaven”, saying, “Ooh, it makes me wonder.”
Soul, gospel, and blues legend Mavis Staples sang about a question many of us wonder, “What are they doing in Heaven today?
Willie Nelson who, while reminiscing about his departed friends, said he does not want to be, “the last man standing,” but then Willie wryly adds, “… well, on second thought, maybe I do!”
From Dust to Dust: Eternal Existence
Pop scientists like astrophysicist Neil deGrasse Tyson are able to explain that matter is not destroyed, it just changes shape or becomes energy. Everything that existed at the time of the Big Bang 15 billion years ago still exists today and will for eternity. So, in a very real sense we do last forever.
It is not particularly reassuring, however, to know that the term “dust to dust” is a reality proven by science. It may be true, at least about our bodies, but it is not what most of us think of as Heaven. Science so far does not have a good answer about what happens to our soul.
We all want to know the answer to the questions:
When will the bell toll for me?
And then what?
There is only one way to find out.
Some people have committed suicide. None of us know what causes people to take their own lives. Like Willie Nelson and Kenny Chesney sang, most of us are more than willing to wait to find out what Heaven is all about.
Also, most of us will not know either when or how we will meet our end. Some of us will have warning signs such as illness, others will have no warning. Here today, gone tomorrow.
To our loved ones left behind, how we die is bound to be less important than the loss itself. Will they find comfort in the fact they we may be reunited in Heaven? Or will they just “go on” without us?
Too much?
Of course it is “too much,” but that is kind of my point. Death is an important aspect of life. We need to be able to face reality. The question, “What is next?” is hard to ignore.
Please share what you believe about Heaven by clicking on the word “Comments” below and then scrolling to the bottom and leave your reply.
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Dear readers:
Both Vivian and Niece Rosie DePaola pointed out that I had the wrong “aunt” identified with the funeral service I described in the “Heaven” post. I have since corrected the post to reflect the proper aunt, Nelly Grace, AKA, “Aunt Bunk.” Several other people responded to me personally and I have included their comments below.
Thoughts/Comment from Rosie DePaola;
I could be wrong, but I had very vivid memories of that day. That preacher was intense. We attended the funeral dressed in our finest beach clothes. We happened to be in NC for vacation not a funeral. Grandma Janie refused to attend. She thought it was ridiculous her sister “found God bc someone told her she was going to hell.”
By the way, that preacher definitely gave some “you’re going to hell” vibes. He must of looked our direction a dozen times during his sermon.
As for the matter of heaven and hell, I don’t really know. To each their own.
Thoughts/Comment from Vivian Simpson:
It was my aunt Bunk (Nelly Grace) and the funeral was in New Bern. Aunt Bunk was laid out in a very fancy pink dress. For some reason that’s what sticks in my mind.
I’m not sure why my mother didn’t attend, but I don’t think it had anything to do with my aunt finding Jesus or anything like that. Mom did not like funerals and as I recall what a long, hot day that was, I doubt she would’ve had the stamina at that stage in her life to be able to do it.
I haven’t thought that much about the preacher. I think I must’ve just tuned him out. It wasn’t the first time I had heard a Baptist preacher!
I don’t remember being concerned about being underdressed. We probably were, but I don’t think anybody really cared or judged us for it.
Thoughts/Comment from Chip Forward:
A few years ago I saw an interesting piece on this topic on TV. I don’t remember where I saw it but Morgan Freeman did a DVD for National Geographic called, The Story of God. I bought the 2 disk set of DVD’s. I haven’t seen it for quite awhile so my explanation might not be 100 % correct but I will get the gist of it. They investigated the concept of heaven. They interviewed people from quite a few different religions explaining their beliefs of how to get into heaven. They even interviewed an atheist who of course doesn’t believe in heaven. It started out interviewing a person who had a near death experience. Of course there were no “answers”, but it was very insightful how different cultures and religions view heaven.
Thoughts from Pat Crouch:
I enjoyed reading your Heaven blog & my thoughts on the afterlife….I have absolutely NO idea what’s going to happen to me when I take that last breath. What I DO hope, however, is that everyone gets what they believe in….so, if someone believes they’re gonna walk through those pearly gates & sit on the right hand of God, may it BE for that person! I hate to think that someone spent their entire life believing in their version of the “next life” & not getting it….too cruel, right?! I kinda feel like I wanna be that genie in the bottle, granting wishes, haha!!
I remember visiting Grandma Sayer one time a few years after Grandpa had died when she was living alone in her home. She brought up the subject of dying, and true to her ever-positive self, she told me that she had no fear. She never mentioned what she expected, but she shared that her faith was strong, that she was grateful for her life and was truly at peace. Years later, Mom, and then our Aunt Carol, faced end-of-life very similarly.
Growing up I honestly don’t remember much talk in church or at home about what heaven would be like. Celebration of the resurrection at Easter and what that meant was certainly central, but the Christian communities I’ve been a part of then (and still) are not focused primarily on salvation but on the teachings of Jesus. While I am well aware that many are not, I have been thankful for faith communities who are open, accepting, caring, compassionate, respectful of different faith perspectives and devoted to service of others and our world.
I decided long ago that there is no “knowing” what the afterlife will bring, hence have not spent time trying to picture it. I am, however, nurtured and inspired that we are not alone, that God is with us through it all.
Shalom Brother, Martha
Thanks Sis,
You make some good points about focusing on how we live our lives now.
Jim
I was raised to believe in Heaven, if not Hell. My Grandfather was a minister. My parents drifted away from their Congregationalist and Presbyterian upbringings to become Quakers. I was comfortable believing God is love, and that there is that of God in every human. That made racism, bigotry, and and other forms of cruelty and injustice non-starters. It spoke to the sanctity of life, particularly human life, but non-human life as well. It cultivated a kind of reverence that has carried me along; even more now than when I was younger
After I left the bubble of Swarthmore, and realized that human suffering was more common than not, I started wondering what God was up to. The idea of a God started making less sense. Unspeakable injustice and suffering was easy to see if you kept your eyes open and didn’t look away.
Agnosticism allowed me to to be “uncertain” about all the things that the believers were professing about Heaven, Hell, reincarnation, the eternal soul/spirit, etc., etc.
Years later, my uncertainty gave way to a general acceptance that nobody on the religious end of the continuum was making good sense. Baptists were crazy. Proselytization was offensive. “My God is better than your God” accounted for more wars and death and misery than any real God could tolerate. It became clear to me that religion was essentially fantasy. Each flavor had its own notion of what we should do while we were alive, and what we should expect when we passed on.
Bullshit.
Fantasy.
Nobody knew anything, but they were able to manipulate masses of people and suck money or other tithings from them by telling them a good story, and making them fear a death of punishment for living “badly.” Dostoyevsky said it well in Brothers Karamazov. The church was diabolically manipulating the masses, the sheep, for control and financial gain. It was all theatre, and people seemed to need this. Why? I wondered.
Today, I am fully certain that we have had the lives we have had purely by chance. For some of us that chance has been joyful. For others of us that chance has been hellish misery. Poverty, disease, violence, hunger, tragedy, accident, war, loss, fear, pain, suffering, wondering, confusion. For some it has been too short, but better for them that it was so. The world is for many not a happy place, and it is only through the power of compartmentalization of the tragedy in every direction, that, for the better-off, “happiness” can be felt. Everyone harbors one delusion or another to remain viable on the journey through life. Nobody knows, or likely ever will, what happens after life as we know it.
So, Athiesm is the denial of the existence of a God, and that is where I hang my hat these days. I absolutely believe that we are only here and now, and when we die, we enter into the dreamless sleep that we emerged from as embryos. The physical atoms, molecules and “matter” that miraculously (no not that kind of miracle) converged and organized to form cells that grew and combined in an intricate way to comprise our selves finds itself again into the disarray of entropy. I believe, as much as I like to imagine (why not) that we have spirits that take flight to who knows where, that the afterlife is absolutely nothingness, and I am completely fine with that. I will not even miss life, as good as it has been for me (and I never thought it would be be this good back when I was a teen). Moreover, I will not even know I am dead. Poof. Gone.
Only my survivors will “feel” my death, and ponder who I was and, more precisely, who I was to them. When I think of my family and friends who have died, I can only really think of them in terms of my unique relationship with them. No one has an identical relationship with anyone else. And so, those who knew me well enough to ponder my death will be the only bearers of knowledge that I lived at all. And of course Google will know a bit about what my work was.
While I may sound, and do feel, confident about my beliefs about Heaven (as this is the topic at hand, but touches on so much else), and what follows life as we know it, I also know that it makes absolutely no difference what I think, and that it makes no difference what is exactly “correct.” Each person has to think this thorough for themselves, or just subscribe to what someone else tells them. Each of us has our own truth.
I’m just grateful that I was able to have a life on Earth that was not a living Hell (on Earth). You know the expression.
It could have been a lot worse.
Thanks Jim, Your personal and comprehensive response covers a number of important issues regarding religion beyond just what happens to us after death. I understand how it is difficult just to take this one aspect alone – it is intertwined with other religious beliefs. Philosophers have wrestled with these ideas for thousands of years. Take Care Always, Jim
Hi Jim. I appreciate your informal, but pretty thorough exploration of SO many questions. Over the years, I’ve found some folks experience of near death quite compelling, and comforting. Theologically, I’ve come to hope ( if not believe) that there is some reckoning with evil, others and my own, but I think the final word is a word of Grace, that is healing forgiveness and wholeness. Not what we deserve, but we are all learners in this life. How it all gets sorted out – mystery.
What is not mystery to my mind and heart is the transcendance, power, and inevitable triumph of LOVE. The love that’s at the heart of the best in this life, the love people often sense in encounters and experiences we call sacred. For many followers of Jesus, Divine Love is at the center of his life, what he said, did, and the power that bestows a fullness that not even death can snuff out, for Jesus and for ALL of us.
Even so, I know, the questions and mystery remain.
Timely, Jim. Thanks!
Thanks Terry, I am a bit out of my lane in this area, and greatly appreciate your views as a much more qualified religious scholar. Like everything important in life, the answer to these questions are extremely complex and they are also very personal. Thanks again Bro (in-law), Jim
I am rather “unchurched” but spiritual with a huge reverence for Mother Earth, God’s gift. I tend to believe whatever challenges you are given in this life, if unmet, or thwarted, you will be destined to meet again and again until embraced and dealt with. That suggests we are reborn as many times as needed before we transcend to a spirit life unburdened by body maintenance, the ultimate reward. I want to believe there is a special hell for those who knowingly hurt others, physically, spiritually, emotionally, or financially.
Thanks for the response Ann. There is a part of me also that hopes that “evil doers” get their just reward after death. Take Care Always. Jim
I believe there is an after-life and that Heaven is a beautiful place where we will be reunited with loved ones. However, the Bible says very little about an afterlife. Rather it focuses on how our present life can be like the one in Heaven. Basically, if we love our neighbor as ourselves, life here on earth can be like that of Heaven. The answers to the questions of the existence of Heaven, Hell, how to get there, etc. are rhetorical. The one known is that regardless of how we have lived, been successful, etc. we will die. We cannot escape that fact, so hopefully those questions will be answered after we die.
Thanks John, Lots to think about here. Semper Fi. Jim